You won't find it, you know.

Sorts like you are a dime a dozen. You have all the time and money in the world, so of course you're looking for ways to spend it. But did you know that we're all laughing at you?

Not just us; the world, too. And how could we not? You come here in your little holidays, cosplaying as men of science and exploration, only to turn around when the going gets tough because surprise, real science is hard.

You want great and terrible reptiles? We've saltwater crocodiles aplenty. You want wicked claws and long winding necks? There are cassowaries if you know where to find them. But if you want to find an accessory to your preconceptions, a neat little medal to pin on your chest, you won't find it here or anywhere.

So come and put on your airs all you want. We welcome you to. You're our, and the world's, entertainment.

Come and look for it and we'll show you where all the sightings happened, we'll feed you all the old legends you've made up for us, we'll humor your delusion just for something to do.

But you still won't find it, not because you haven't looked hard enough, but because it's every bit as elusive as the truth you seek to confirm.

The Kaiaimunu isn't our mythology. It is yours.

But have I seen it? Of course I've seen it.

And it surely has seen you, too.