You see, son, the trick to raiding a house for food is to stay aware of your surroundings. You must keep an eye on the wind and make sure your smell doesn't reach the houses. Humans can't smell much, but dogs can. Speaking of dogs, if they spot you, run, don't be an idiot and try to take them out--run! Humans don't care about their sheep, but when their dogs disappear, they go on the warpath.

Chin up, son! I know you're scared, but you're all grown up now! You're almost as tall as your mother was, and she could sneak in and out of a house without leaving as much as one hair on the upholstery.

We'll go for the pantry today. I know you were hoping for beef or mutton, but I don't feel like butchering an animal tonight, and plus, cans of beans don't screech.

That's the Davidson house, by the way. You've met the Davidsons, haven't you? Silly me, of course you did. You used to play with their kid all the time when you were little. How time flies! Can't believe that was almost a decade ago.

Well, what do you see?

What I think?

Well, I think they definitely know something's afoot--I'm pretty sure that's a security camera over their porch.

What do you make of that?

Mhm...

Mhm! Fake, of course. It's too obvious, makes a lot of noise turning, and you can always see where it's facing. Why pay hundreds for a real security system when a creaky little bit of scrap will scare people off? That tells us they're expecting humans, not animals. It also means we're safe to go.

Now, before we do anything else, I wanted to thank you for agreeing to join me tonight. I know the rest of the clan doesn't approve of what I'm doing here. They keep telling me I should do what they did, shave, join human society--keep saying I'll take a bullet to a bad place one day. But this means a lot to me, even though it might seem old-fashioned to you.

I'm at peace with the world passing me by, and it warms my heart that you agreed to share this with me, even though it may not be your idea of fun.

I love you, son.

Hah! Look at this old squatch going through his midlife crisis and crying on the job.

We should stay focused and finish the job. Remember, move slowly, move quietly, and keep an eye on the wind. If we do a good job here today, I'm going to have one hell of a story to tell the boys. And if anything goes wrong, I'll rush in and help out.

Are you ready? I know you are.

Let's get into our costumes, then.