The Horror perched on my shoulder looks down at the phone on the table in front of me.

"Why do you lie?" he asks me.

I close my eyes but cannot disbelieve him, even though I really want to.

His three legs wrap around my arm; his little arms scratch at his scrunched-up face.

"I don't know," I tell him.

I sometimes wish he'd go away. Whenever something gets too fun or exciting, he likes being a stick-in-the-mud. Whenever I'm sad, he's cheerful and chipper.

We never agree on anything, and he always gets the last word.

"We both know that I'm not real," he says. "No matter how many drawings you make of me. I didn't come from space, or from a zoo. I'm not a kangaroo that took a dip in radioactive waste."

"You're real to me."

"For now, maybe. But one day, I'll have to go back to my planet, and who will take care of you then, if not yourself?"

"But you don't take care of me."

He slides down my arm and reaches for my other shoulder. His arms are so long when he's reaching. He grabs on and swings like a monkey.

He knows it makes me smile.

"I don't have a planet, either. Blast it, I might have to stick around forever after all! But when you start wanting to date, you won't want or need me around anymore."

"That's a million years away, though," I say, and his smile fades.

"No," he says, "it really isn't."

He clings to my arm. One of his legs dangles freely, brushing the carpet with its outstretched toes.

"Look, kid, listen up," he says. "Fooling people may be fun, but it might end up hurting them, and it might end up hurting you, too. You're young now, and sometimes you feel invincible, or like your actions don't have consequences."

He tugs on my hair. "But they do. All actions have consequences. It's just that other people are shielding you right now. They won't do that forever, you know."

"So you think I shouldn't lie?"

His eyes smile. "Oh, no, I didn't say that. You can lie all you want."

"You're weird."

His laughter echoes through the room, but only I hear it.

"I'm not anything. I'm not real, and you lied to all those people. But it's okay, I'm not mad. I know you'll make it right one day. Probably not anytime soon, but one day. And when you do, I want you to remember the little Horror on your shoulder, from when you were a child."

The phone rings again. I don't know it yet, but I'll be getting very used to that noise very soon. This time, though, I answer.

I just wanted to share him with everyone.